FAMILY MAN

FAMILY MAN would like to thank the following individuals and bands for their friendship, help, support and (last not least) patience. If it wasn't for you, we would never have made it to and through SEA. We're old and not good at names, so if we forgot to include you, you're still in here and in our hearts. Nevermind the typos!

Talib, Yen, Raayan, Kimi, Duan, Amir, Sham, Norr, Ari, Ison, Ricoh, Glenn, Hafiz, Keith, Cher, Stevie, Eddie, Indrah, Dodon, Andre, Yussi, Adit, Akhdan, Zul, Noh, Najib, Fikri, Emman, Zepol, Jay, Yussef, Hayati, Vanessa, Jasmine, ...

And of course: Dolly, Joker, Yusa, Doive, Matt, Tommy, Roddy, Munky.

Lots of sleep 'til time to hit the venue. Cool Jazz club, 8 bands only. Jay has made shirts for the occasion, very cool. ANGRY DOG ATTACK rage, KILLRATIO, Zepol's band, rage harder, PAGAN FIRE thrash brutally. We're getting stares and moshes, play a good set. GVTR play last at 1.30, Euro time, raging. Some lassie thinks Hitler was a cool guy, flies around shit. After food we manage to avoid karaoke threats and still get no sleep. Quick lie down, then aeropuerto time again, really sad to see Emman and Zepol go (or the other way round rather).

And then it's home again (away from home). Talib picks us up at KL Sentral, bad news, Avroco RIP (shame we never met). Brandy Coke with Kimi who gives us news about Bersih, 1,600 down, 1 dead. Fucking pigs, fucking government. Heavy bed party.

Nothing special (food and rest) until we hit Rumah Api a.k.a. Noisy. Chats with "old" acquaintances, SMG experience technical difficulties, PRISMA FOSIL play slightly too poppy psychedelic rock, nice for a change nonetheless. We rock a short set, could've gone down better and when MR STERILE ASSEMBLY play the pigs arrive. Looks as if GVTR will never get to play, we do though and as usual the best gigs are played in the shittiest situations! Surprise: Zipcode Dave left his passport in the plane from KK to KL, so isn't in Melbourne at all, which means: Heaps Party! Not so heaps party: Rumah Api won't have us stay so we hit Chez Talib once more and the bed pretty much straight away.

Tampin calling so we spend the day in a van! Easy drive if longish, Seventh Heaven Studios is set in a wee mall and we get to play early to avoid not being able to play at all, rock it hard. We surely have people's attention. DEVILICA play a one off comeback set, and they're good. Great to see Glenn and Hayati have made it as well, great food and traditional Malaysian cigarettes (reed paper and pure baccie) afterwards, then we drop off our stuff at Duan's parents place in the sticks and go sausage dipping in the hot springs. The REALLY hot springs, set close to the forest. Very nice and the perfect thing to send us straight off to bed.

Chillin' out, then sad goodbyes to Glenn and Hayati. Van time! Unfortunately we have to leave Talib in KL, but Amir joins us. Temerloh, and an industrial estate. Setting is optimal, lots of time, SMG rage through their set, rivers of sweat down my body and that's only for standing in the room alone. Double package at the end of the bill, so FAMILY MAN first, and it's a rager. Pinned to pretty much one spot by the "kids" who go nuts, genius! Then straight into GVTR chaos, our last ever gig (again), and we go BOOM! So good. Get in the van, hit KL. We stay at Duan's who has wifi which is good for calling home, everybody's so good to us. Rum and Coke this time, and then hit the floor straight.

GVTR boys Scotland section hit the plane home, we get ready to rock one last time. Scenic route through KL to Galeri Studio, a tiny practice room with a Cheese Naan serving eatery in front. Amazing line up, with XERPENT up first (great grinding stuff with Death Metal guitar lines), ALICE next (daein' their tang). While Ayam Fared does his poetry, Sham SMG tells us how the secret band for the night (COMADRE) showed up, had a look at the room and went "We're not playing this, we're too tired". No comment. They're fucked, cos they missed DAIGHILA, Duan's and Amir's heavy rocking brutal screamo-ish paradise. Then we're fucked cos we play next. After a wee speech, we blast through the hottest ever gig which seemed to have been well received, it was just the perfect set up: tiny room, best of people, great bands. MICHAEL CRAFTER'S CRAFTER get COMAMADRE's slot, seeing that Zipcode shows me a number of tunes, nuff for a 90 secs. set. The crew has food together, as is tradition. So good! Then bed.

Machine's off to the Philippines for a holiday, so Shlomo Jankenzweig (our new drummer) and myself hit the town with Kimi to get tour tatts! This accomplished, a wee cheeky beer afterwards goes a bit mental with 5 pitchers of Long Island Ice Tea, which we're trying to master with Ison and Ricoh until we hite the food again for a last time. Great to see Sham and Ari, Yen and Raayan are there. Where is Coconut Harry? He's one the (drumroll...) karaoke! We meet back at Setapak Good Friends and Zipcode is pretty much buged out, so we simply have some intercultural heaps party, then sleep long.

Talib comes back home round midday for our last eatery meal, great stuff! Veggie fish, veggie barbie pork, lovely. Saddest of goodbyes, then we hit the cab, train, bus, plane to go back to the rain, cold and sit-down bogs. FAMILY MAN over and out.

No sleep 'til Bandung, 13 hrs in crazy last minute cars, scooter accident, crazy roads, crazy drivers. Good to see more countryside. Downstairs venue in a restaurant, everybody is very nice and very helpful and there's heaps of 'em as well. Shame that sets are short and we only got to play 6 songs. Pretty rocking though, dig it! The gaff is a mansion and the mother's a housekeeper. Shower, sleep.

Jakarta calling, easy train ride, but what a fucking moloch! Would've expected something like it, but still. The venue is a derelict warehouse of humungous proportions, band one is already at it, then the usual prayer break and oops, we're running 3 hrs late. Thankfully it's only an 18-band bill. The chaos punks do their best to entertain us during the long long wait (Valium, E, Amphetamines, offers of accepting our stuff without pay, the usual ciu). Set is chaotic and grand. Michael Lampert has his whole body rubbed clean off sweat after each song, and gives hi-fives while playing in return. Chaos! Very good. INJAKMATI didn't get to play, and that's a real shame since it would've been their last gig of the tour. The hostel donates beer quite involuntarily. Sleep.

Unexpected luck in the form of a Chinese restaurant, endless rows of coffees ("Erm, 1 coffee is missing, I think we were having 6 in total" = 7 coffees). Roty chocelat galore! Minibus drivers like to bargain, yes they do. We're lucky they don't bring us to our destination but another train station instead, cos Jakarta's veins are clogged beyond comparison. Trains have women-only carriages, didn't you know? Airport, sad goodbyes to the Injak crew. Brothers! Kota Kinabalu seems very nice even at night and Adit, Akhdan, Noh and co. are even nicer. Food, heaps party, sleep.

Matinee at a studio, best of times. Packed out wee room, all bands play great, lots of fun had, lots of shit sold, we play last, a full set and things go mental. Circle pits, mosh marathons, a guy in a rice farmer's hat, heaps raging!

The fun continues: beach (warm warm water, jellyfish stingers (Herr Crudos and Herr Lampert got lucky), nothing that piss can't heal) and great food. Then (drum roll): heeeeeaps party at the flat with lots of condom snorting. Pass out.

Just enough time to hit the museum with a great outdoors area. Then off to the airport, the usual chaos and Manila, here we come. Sad to say goodbye to the Crafters (and their merch of course), and the KK Posse. Picked up by Emman, Zepol, Dane, best lads. Manila is different, as in predominantly Christian, Spanish and American colonial past and the cheapest beer in the world. Great gaff, amazing food (banana blossom rolls, yea!), refreshments, tops off sleep again.

Tourist Joe checks out the sights, then hits Veteran City and Nonoy's backyard. Lampert goes Balut (half-developed duck embryo) and we have a beer & metal cockroach party. Cool! WWII Jeepney ride. Then some more heaping before (you guess it) tops of sleep party.

...listen: my ticket says "PRAMBANAN - the most beautiful hindu temple in the world". just a note for those who wanna follow our traces, hehe.
are you still in the internet cafe or have the others picked you up already. i am sitting in room number 2, haha.
got roddy already some ink in his leg??
bule??
over and out.
M.A.C.H.I.N.E.

So Singapore, yea, and Glenn is doing his magic. Small place up on the first floor, ladyboy Indian scene out the back, roof terrace: GO! No stage, barefeet gig: YEA GO! FLESH DISGORGE, (pig squeals), BLOODY REJECTS (Lion City's answer to OI POLLOI (run for cover, Deek!)): FUCK YEA GO! Perfect setting, so we rock. In fact everyone rocks. INJAK MATI extra heavy. Food again (Prata round 2, me chub chub), beers and beautiful people everywhere, Karaoke dismissed, cold hostel (good), free internet 'n all that whitey stuff, a table out front, no MCs running round it tonight.
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We. Are. In. ASIA! Chaos!

And now I don't know where to start.

Spend 20 hrs sitting in seats and your knees will hurt a lot. Forget the pain when you're picked up from Kuala Lumpur Intl. by the boss himself, our friend and brother Talib! While we stayed in Kuala Lumpur, he was the best host imaginable!

It's hot. Like running into a brick wall. Very nice. We drank a bottle of Rum in honour of the heat.

Like I said, Talib is amazing, and we were greeted by shirts, tapes, CDs (a 1000 pressed, 900 of which were stolen the same night from right in front of Talib's flat. Bastards!). A sweet 9 hours of solid sleep. Forget duvet covers as blankets, don't even think about sleeping bags! Boxers and unadulterated Orang Puti skin.

Get up, have rice for breakfast, go to the Batu Caves, see monkeys, sweat, psychedelic souvenirs, FAMILY MAN - The Movie is coming together nicely. Back at Talib's we meet baby Rayyan. The Ozzfestivities can begin with CRAFTER, MICHAEL and Sham of SMG fame outside a Chinese restaurant. When really drunk Chinese people come to your table, they'll speak of love and peace.

Wake up again, INJAK MATI are in town. Ricecooker Shop in central KL is a cool diy infoshop/shop shop, and Norr is there. Haven't seen him for 5 years, since he moved away from Leeds, great! The Petronas Towers were the biggest building in the world at some point in time, the mall inside it sucks big time.

Poor poor Zange! We meet him at Heaven Studio, which is heaven for him and heaven for us, our first gig >10k kms away from Berlin. 10 bands, SMG one of them, CARBURETOR DUNG, great. Ourselves, yea, first gig of the tour, good to be there doing it, but... have you ever lifted weights in a sauna? Welcome to our reality. Hell yea, great gig!

Rumah Api is a punk house. We'll play it in two weeks time and sleep in it that night. Thai Sticky, mate! Not for me, hung out with the KL crew at an Indian Helal Restoran, having great Roty. Oh yea, the food? Amazing.

2 hrs of sleep, gotta do it. Chaos! Thanks to guess-who we managed to be on a coach to Singapore though. Best public transport I've been on. Singapore Customs? Can suck it, racist bastards. They pulled out INJAK MATI for being born in a place called Indonesia, so half of us didn't manage to get on the coach again. Coconut Harry made it though, so: chaos! Re-united, only just avoided spending the night in a Singaporian jail (our option B, Whitey Will Pay) for not binning a fag end. Young rozzer got some fresh air for his dick anyway. Roty with mushrooms and cheese, they call it Prata.

And that's that. Really boring? Wait till you see the pics!

This is FAMILY MAN, over and out. Singapore, here we come.
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Dear FAMILY FAN,

Just 2 days until we (well, 3 of us, poor Michael Lampert will follow another two days later) will board a plane which will take us straight to Kuala Lumpur.

Few shirts, fewer crackers, virtually no extra socks but two video cams + 50 CDs will go in the backpacks.

Here's the job:



See ya there!